In the 1989 film, When Harry met Sally, it was drilled into our brains that “men and women cannot be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.”
The entire movie takes the alternating perceptions of a male who’s claims are that a platonic friendship is simply not possible and a female who assures him that’s crazy. Spoiler alert, they end up together in the end after many years of friendship. Harry was right. Or was he?
The life long question is, can men and women exist in a strictly platonic capacity and still be close friends? The answer is yes.
Just like with Harry and Sally, men and women have very different views on just about everything. There are countless books and movies and stories that show just how different we really are. It’s the topic of many stand up comedian acts, and general banter. We will never run out of material when it comes to the differences between a man and a woman.
BUT, just because I click with someone, doesn’t mean I want to jump into bed with them. There are people out there you just click with. There are people of the opposite sex that you NEVER want to see naked, but you could sit down and talk about anything.
True friendship is not something you pick up at the store. It takes years to build. Some friendships survive the test of time, and some don’t make it past a single bad day. A true friendship is built brick by brick, over years and years of experiences.
In general, and remember this is never a one size fits all assessment, women over complicate things. Why is my boyfriend distant? Why did the lady at school give me a weird look? Why is she suddenly backing away? We can analyze and find a conclusion that perhaps is a bit detoured from the actual conclusion, but we are secure in our conclusions. After all, we have ripped it apart corner to corner.
Men tend to be a bit simpler. He wouldn’t even notice the lady at school, he is probably busy focused on what he’s doing.
So when your world is falling apart and your BFF can’t tell you why your husband said that ridiculous thing, your male friend can. He will tell you when you are being a little crazy. He will tell you when you are right, and also when you are wrong. He will tell you when your butt looks too big in your jeans. He isn’t afraid to hurt your feelings, but he will be your biggest supporter. He will always cheer you from the stands and he will have your back even if you never knew he needed to.
Women and men are different. Science tries to explain it, authors try to explain it, we even try to explain it to ourselves. We don’t need the explanation. We can just accept we are different, appreciate those differences and grow from them.
Don’t let the age old cliche that men and women cannot be just friends stand in your way of allowing yourself what might turn out to be a pretty amazing life long friendship.